Autism is a family matter

Autism is a family matter. It impacts the parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins and pets(yes pets!). Over the years of providing therapy in people's homes, I have been given the opportunity to observe the family dynamics, impacts and stress that Autism has on the entire family.

 Parents of newly diagnosed children, that contact me for treatment are usually at their witts end. They can't cope with their child anymore. They can't handle the maladaptive behaviours. They can't handle the lack of control, lack of a happy family, lack of sleep. Often times these families are in distress and stress mode, and are just doing the bare minimum just to survive. Anxiety, depression, OCD behaviours, sleep disorders can all develop or increase for parents/siblings when families are left to handle this situation.

During family meetings and parent coaching sessions, I am frequently asked "what impact will this have on his sister"? "what impact will this have on my marriage?" How much will this cost?" "How long will he/she need therapy for?" " When will they be better?" Oh how I wish I could answer all of these questions. I wish I had a magic wand or some sort of magic spell to make it go away. I am honest. I tell the families:
* this will impact his sister. You will need to make sure that she gets adequate time, love and attention too.
*It will have a huge impact on your marriage. You will feel guilt, and argue and be tired and frustrated...and you will likely take it out on each other. Make sure you find special time to spend alone and don't talk about problems. Just enjoy each other.
*This will cost you a lot. Full time therapy usually costs around $50 000/year
*Your son or daughter will likely need intensive therapy for years. We won't really know until we get started. We take small baby steps...so it takes hours of work.
 *I can't tell you when he will be better...but starting therapy now is your best option!

Now you are reading this and it sounds horrible and scary. The truth is that sometimes it can be. Sometimes and most often though...these first steps are the hardest. Once the family starts down this road...things start to change. People learn and grow. Children adapt. Parents get help and reach out and rely on others. Children with ASD start to learn...and change...and become more engaged with and in their family.

Autism is a family matter. It should be! Everyone needs to be involved.